My last blog post, I shared all the hustle and flow of my life recently. This cat on Quora, Akshat Gupta summed up, what I’m feeling right now.

Hustle, a state of great activity.

Flow, fact of moving along in a steady, continuous stream.

Hustle and Flow, it defines one’s conflicting ambitions.

It’s like, I’m living someone else life. As summer comes to a close, I realize the longer commute has left me with less time to knit and create designs that I love.  The time I do have, has been spent knitting a second sample to correct errors in patterns and editing previously released patterns. And as I transition to a new manager and team lead at work (second time in six months).  I find myself still waiting on approval to move forward with a new project in my domain of expertise.

Being in this state of flux, feels like a ship in rough seas.  My new lead could see my anxiety after our initial meetings and asked if I meditate then suggested I read, 10% Happier. I went from being a subject matter expert with two job offers before I decided to remain at my current employer earlier this year.

Staying gets me to my 5 year anniversary and I work with really great people. However, I did not realize the cost of my decision. Instead of being in control of my career,  I’m now allowing my employer to utilize me in the manner they see fit. This is new for me.

Ok, shifting my focus! I know God’s got my back and nothing or no one can take away what’s meant for me in blessings. In the last few months, I have learned new software that has lead to offers. I have enjoyed time with loved ones and a bit of travel. The best part was adjusting my work schedule to sleep later without being bound to software deployments or school drop offs and pickups. Pure heaven!

I have three new designs on the needle. It will take me a while to get them released but they are coming. I keep telling myself woosaw…just breathe.

The photos are from my trip to South Carolina, Barbara Sue Brodie NeedleWorks.

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